As a professional tattoo artist working in an established shop I make a conscious effort to maintain a professional attitude toward the competing shops in my area and beyond. It is not my style to bad-mouth another reputable shop just because we are in the same business. We are in competition with each other but it does not mean that we can't offer mutual respect to one another. Not only for each others business, but also for each others talent. Studio 42, Crayons and Mushrooms Tattoos are just a few examples of local tattoo shops of whom I am proud to call my colleagues. I love to praise their work and happily invite their critique of mine. Holla! (Ok, so I'm not gangsta but still...)
The word 'talent', however, like 'art' is subjective. But, I think most of my fellow tattooists would agree, when it comes to talent in this industry, talent, or lack thereof, is much easier to spot than in other art worlds.
We all know the old saying 'I don't know art but I know what I like.'. Go to any museum and you will see many beautiful pieces of art from many different periods and ages. And you and your cohorts may spend hours debating on who has more talent: the guy who sculpted a mother and child out of marble circa 1837 or the dude that took a piss on two blank canvases before dumping his ashtray on top of them in his basement this morning. And, by the way, both of these pieces exsist.
Tattoos, though, do not require as much debate because, subjectives aside, it is easy to see when a tattoo is clearly nothing but bad. A technical point of view might focus on shaky or blown out lines, un-even color fill, blank spots (also known as 'holidays'), scarring. An artists point of view might notice the terrible rendering (at the Butler fair I saw a guy getting a tattoo of a lion with perfectly cut bangs. The most ridiculous looking lion, tattoo or otherwise, I have ever seen.), poor composition, off kilter body placement. These are all techniques in the tattoo world that are preformed by those we call 'scratchers'. And they do not have my respect.
Scratchers are annoying to our business, as well as to each of us, and by that I mean me personally, for many reasons.
One. They're dangerous. Forget about art for a second. Let's talk about sterilization, cross contamination, Hep-C, HIV, AIDS. Scratchers aren't any good at tattoos because they never took the time to learn how to do it right. And if they never took the time to learn the craft, I'm sure they didn't learn anything about bloodbourne pathogens and anti-microbials either. There is currently no recorded case of a person dying from a tattoo. But with as many scratchers as there are out there, I'm sure it's just a matter of time.
Two. They suck at everything. Ok, that's a bit vague. They suck at everything tattoo related. Remember what I said about not bad mouthing another reputable shop? Well, sir or madam, if you are a scratcher then you do not fall into that category. I see scratcher tattoos come into my shop all the time. Tattoos that look as if they were put in with a chisel and coal dust. I do not hesitate to tell that victim that they have been terribly scarred and to never ever go back to that person again. Even if they don't come to see me, just don't go back to that scratcher. Sometimes these people agree. And sometimes they look at the tattoo, shrug their shoulders and say 'Eh. Twenty bucks.' Idiots. Which brings me to my next point of annoyance...
They take my business for the worst reason of all: money. I call this the worst reason not because I need more money (well, I do but... anyway). Because, as I have already written about at length in previous blogs, the general, un-educated tattoo consumer looks at dollars before anything else. As many times as I have been asked for prices over the phone that I refuse to give, the scratcher shop will answer his phone, give his low, low price to the thrill and delight of the stupid hooray-I'm-gonna-get-tattooed-and-it-won't-even-cost-me-my-whole-allowance kid (who, when they get there, they won't even be carded). And they might not even be taking my money just today. That same person who the scratcher screws up on might have been a potential customer who, due to this terrible experience, is now completely turned off of ever getting a tattoo again. Thank you, scratcher.
But perhaps the most annoying thing about scratchers, and this is more for me personally, is that THEY THINK THEY ARE GOOD! Look, I know that I am not a world renowned tattooist and I have much to learn in this craft. I still learn, with every tattoo and I get better every day. But I do feel confident enough in my moderate ability that I feel comfortable enough to keep going. That being said, the scratcher should just effing quit. But they won't, because they think their work is good and seem unable to recognize how absolutely horrifying and horrible they are.
Just here on myspace alone, find yourself a couple dozen 'tattooists' and look at their work in the photo albums. Out of that two dozen there will be at least one or two (or more) whose tattoo work is so bad that it would make you want to personally kick their ass. Yet, the captions for these pieces of crap are things like 'Sik azz tat i did', 'Sic as fuk', 'str8 m*thaf*ken masterpiece' 'Picasso aint got shit on me' and 'Gatta love it'. These are all actual quotes under pictures of different scratchers here on myspace. Even more sad than this is the fact that these photos receive comments under them full of praise and encouragement, like lemmings following their leader off a cliff. Any true artist will be hesitant to comment on their own work outside of stating how much fun they had doing it. Even the ones who know how good they are will accept any praise at all with great, great humility.
I look at the work of Bob Tyrrell, Nikko Hurtado, Mike Devries, Joshua Carlton and Guy Aitchison, just to name a few, and I see artists levels who I am inspired to aspire to. These scratcher dill holes look at the same work and see their equals. I don't get it. Perhaps it's a mental illness, like a compulsive disorder or paranoia, where they are completely unaware that their behaviour is not normal. Or maybe they do know how bad they suck but think that if they appear confident and keep telling people how good they are, despite the truth, we will all believe them. Duuuuh.
In any case, sadly, it doesn't appear as if these scratchers are going to quit and go away any time soon. You would think they might know when to quit but they don't. They think they can draw well (they can't) so they think they can tattoo well (they even more can't). They think doing tattoos offers them some sort of rock 'n roll status that they otherwise could not acquire. I changed my own oil once but I'm not going to open an auto body shop in any near future. I make decent barbecue chicken (falling off the bone, I tell you) but have no plans to open a restaurant.
'I don't know art but I know what I like'. Well I know art and the art I like might not be the art you like and that's fine. But I know a good tattoo when I see one. And to all you scratchers out there, shading whole pieces with your liners. Going too deep with a re-used needle and using an empty bic pen for a tube. You'll get my respect when you quit.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Ethics of the Tattoo Artist (What? We have those?)
In this day and age I'm not surprising anyone by saying that tattoos are more easily accepted as a part of our culture and that tattoos are not just for bikers, convicts and sailors. I am tattooing more and more grandmothers, skilled professionals, and clergy in addition to the young guys and gals who want to rebel against their parents or be different just like all of their friends.
But what am I tattooing on them? Aha! It's not often that it happens, but it does happen. An ethical dilemma. There are those tattooists who will tattoo anything on anyone and consider no consequence. The client signed the waiver, they're of age, it's their body. This is a business and it's here to make money.They make no consideration that besides ruining someones life, they may be ruining their own reputation as well and for what? An extra sixty bucks?
Wikipedia defines ethics as this:
Ethics is a major branch of philosophy, encompassing right conduct and good life. It is significantly broader than the common conception of analyzing right and wrong. A central aspect of ethics is "the good life", the life worth living or life that is simply satisfying, which is held by many philosophers to be more important than moral conduct.
In other words, it's not just about being a law abiding citizen, it's about being able to live with yourself knowing you did the right thing. The high- school cashier who can't count gives you too much change? (When did they stop teaching kids how to count? Seriously.) You could keep it, knowing it's no fault of your own that this kid is an idiot or give it back, knowing that it's not your money to keep and that most people wouldn't. Your buddy's wife makes a pass at you? You refuse her advances of course. But do you tell your friend that his wife, the mother of his children whom he is madly in love with, is a whore, knowing that this might not only start a fight but ruin a home? An ethical dilemma can be solved as easily as choosing to walk away or staying to fight the shitstorm to come. Either way it's all about looking at yourself in the mirror and liking what you see.
So what does this have to do with being a tattoo artist? Like the tattoo itself, it's mostly about personal choices. There are some things I absolutely refuse to tattoo on people, and there are other tattoos that I refuse to do given the circumstance. Examples:
White power, swastikas, third reich. Anything that has to do with racial supremacy is my absolute no-no. I have refused these tattoos more often than I would like to think possible. I have heard the argument "It's a free country and it's my body. I can believe what I want and do what I want." Yes you can, but not with my tattoo and my name. All it takes is one of those tattoos to be seen by a person who would ask "Hey, where did you get that tattoo?". And when they get their answer I am no longer a tattoo artist. I'm a bigot lacking in moral fiber and once word gets out that I'm doing those kind of tats then there goes a third of my customers. I respect this great country and it's freedoms even if what people want to believe is something I find abhorrent. But not only is refusing these tattoos good ethics, it's good business.
I also won't do anything that involves Satan worship or any tattoo that denounces God. This is my choice. It's not a general practice of ethics but rather personal choice.
But what about tattoos that have nothing to do with morals but rather just doing the right thing? Once a 19 year old came looking to get "FUCK LIFE" tattooed on his knuckles. I explained how I will not be responsible for him never being able to have a job ever again. He shrugged his shoulders and left without incident. Another young man wanted to get the word "Glory" tattooed across his throat. After asking him what he wanted to do with his life he told me about his plans for law school. I couldn't see him getting hired at any law firm to pick up lunch, let alone an important case. He got the tattoo somewhere more discreet, problem solved. But then...
A few years ago a young lady of 18 going on 8 and a half wanted a tattoo of her boyfriends name. I learned long ago that name tattoos outside of blood family are a mistake. But I also learned that people will always be stupid enough to get them and I have stepped down off of my soapbox on this issue. If anything I will get twice the business by doing these tattoos since eventually most of them will need to come in and get that name covered up with another, more expensive, tattoo. More for me. But on this day, with this girl, I had to refuse the work. While she was waiting her turn for her tattoo she was arguing with the boyfriend on her cell phone. She would call him an asshole, hang up and call him back if he hadn't called back already. This went on for a while. When I finished with my previous client she was ready, pant leg rolled up and a big smile that still had braces, very excited about her new tattoo. I approached her gently and explained how I don't think now is the time for this tattoo. The braces disappeared with her smile. I offered her a tattoo of something else. That's not what she wants. I told her about how I heard her fighting with the guy and that I couldn't, in clear conscience, put this tattoo on her and if they were still together in a year come back and I'll do it for free. She started mother-effing me left and right. I called 3 other shops in the area to see if they could do her tattoo for her. Two of them refused and one said they would do it but would still tell her she's being stupid.
She said "I don't understand. I'm giving you the money. You're still making the money." I said "I could make money selling drugs too, but that's not the point." I'm not certain if she was able to see my point through the steam of her teen aged angst. But I was trying to be ethical. Ethics can be a gray area when it comes to the taboo world of tattoos anyway. I'm certainly not trying to become some patron saint of tattoo heaven. I've tattooed pictures of lots of things on lots of people that some might consider low brow. I guess it comes back to personal choices. Maybe I did that girl a solid by refusing her tattoo. And maybe I could have just shut up, done the tattoo and made a young girl happy with a permanent reminder of her asshole boyfriend.
And maybe as long as I'm not overly focused on weather it's going to make me richer or poorer at the end of the day I'll be able to look at myself in the mirror and keep eye contact. Maybe. Until the day comes that I could really use an extra sixty bucks.
But what am I tattooing on them? Aha! It's not often that it happens, but it does happen. An ethical dilemma. There are those tattooists who will tattoo anything on anyone and consider no consequence. The client signed the waiver, they're of age, it's their body. This is a business and it's here to make money.They make no consideration that besides ruining someones life, they may be ruining their own reputation as well and for what? An extra sixty bucks?
Wikipedia defines ethics as this:
Ethics is a major branch of philosophy, encompassing right conduct and good life. It is significantly broader than the common conception of analyzing right and wrong. A central aspect of ethics is "the good life", the life worth living or life that is simply satisfying, which is held by many philosophers to be more important than moral conduct.
In other words, it's not just about being a law abiding citizen, it's about being able to live with yourself knowing you did the right thing. The high- school cashier who can't count gives you too much change? (When did they stop teaching kids how to count? Seriously.) You could keep it, knowing it's no fault of your own that this kid is an idiot or give it back, knowing that it's not your money to keep and that most people wouldn't. Your buddy's wife makes a pass at you? You refuse her advances of course. But do you tell your friend that his wife, the mother of his children whom he is madly in love with, is a whore, knowing that this might not only start a fight but ruin a home? An ethical dilemma can be solved as easily as choosing to walk away or staying to fight the shitstorm to come. Either way it's all about looking at yourself in the mirror and liking what you see.
So what does this have to do with being a tattoo artist? Like the tattoo itself, it's mostly about personal choices. There are some things I absolutely refuse to tattoo on people, and there are other tattoos that I refuse to do given the circumstance. Examples:
White power, swastikas, third reich. Anything that has to do with racial supremacy is my absolute no-no. I have refused these tattoos more often than I would like to think possible. I have heard the argument "It's a free country and it's my body. I can believe what I want and do what I want." Yes you can, but not with my tattoo and my name. All it takes is one of those tattoos to be seen by a person who would ask "Hey, where did you get that tattoo?". And when they get their answer I am no longer a tattoo artist. I'm a bigot lacking in moral fiber and once word gets out that I'm doing those kind of tats then there goes a third of my customers. I respect this great country and it's freedoms even if what people want to believe is something I find abhorrent. But not only is refusing these tattoos good ethics, it's good business.
I also won't do anything that involves Satan worship or any tattoo that denounces God. This is my choice. It's not a general practice of ethics but rather personal choice.
But what about tattoos that have nothing to do with morals but rather just doing the right thing? Once a 19 year old came looking to get "FUCK LIFE" tattooed on his knuckles. I explained how I will not be responsible for him never being able to have a job ever again. He shrugged his shoulders and left without incident. Another young man wanted to get the word "Glory" tattooed across his throat. After asking him what he wanted to do with his life he told me about his plans for law school. I couldn't see him getting hired at any law firm to pick up lunch, let alone an important case. He got the tattoo somewhere more discreet, problem solved. But then...
A few years ago a young lady of 18 going on 8 and a half wanted a tattoo of her boyfriends name. I learned long ago that name tattoos outside of blood family are a mistake. But I also learned that people will always be stupid enough to get them and I have stepped down off of my soapbox on this issue. If anything I will get twice the business by doing these tattoos since eventually most of them will need to come in and get that name covered up with another, more expensive, tattoo. More for me. But on this day, with this girl, I had to refuse the work. While she was waiting her turn for her tattoo she was arguing with the boyfriend on her cell phone. She would call him an asshole, hang up and call him back if he hadn't called back already. This went on for a while. When I finished with my previous client she was ready, pant leg rolled up and a big smile that still had braces, very excited about her new tattoo. I approached her gently and explained how I don't think now is the time for this tattoo. The braces disappeared with her smile. I offered her a tattoo of something else. That's not what she wants. I told her about how I heard her fighting with the guy and that I couldn't, in clear conscience, put this tattoo on her and if they were still together in a year come back and I'll do it for free. She started mother-effing me left and right. I called 3 other shops in the area to see if they could do her tattoo for her. Two of them refused and one said they would do it but would still tell her she's being stupid.
She said "I don't understand. I'm giving you the money. You're still making the money." I said "I could make money selling drugs too, but that's not the point." I'm not certain if she was able to see my point through the steam of her teen aged angst. But I was trying to be ethical. Ethics can be a gray area when it comes to the taboo world of tattoos anyway. I'm certainly not trying to become some patron saint of tattoo heaven. I've tattooed pictures of lots of things on lots of people that some might consider low brow. I guess it comes back to personal choices. Maybe I did that girl a solid by refusing her tattoo. And maybe I could have just shut up, done the tattoo and made a young girl happy with a permanent reminder of her asshole boyfriend.
And maybe as long as I'm not overly focused on weather it's going to make me richer or poorer at the end of the day I'll be able to look at myself in the mirror and keep eye contact. Maybe. Until the day comes that I could really use an extra sixty bucks.
Art Appreciation
"I want to thank anyone who spends part of their day creating. I don't care if it's a book, a film, a painting, a dance, a piece of theater, a piece of music. Anybody who spends part of their day sharing their experience with us. I think the world would be unlivable without art."
This was the meat of Steven Soderbergh's acceptance speech in 2001 for his best director Oscar win for the movie Traffic. I remember watching it, applauding it, repeating it and I have tried to, on at least some level, live it.
In this day and age where everything is easier, faster and more attainable than it used to be, you might think that art would be more plentiful and appreciated. One might shudder to think that at one time we actually had to make plans to go to the mall to buy a CD and a shirt, the grocery store for food and the hardware store to have a key made. Stop at a garage to get your oil changed. Then hurry home to cook dinner while we waited for a letter from a friend to arrive with the days mail, at the same time not going too far from the phone in case that important call you were expecting came in. And don't forget that your favorite show is on tonight so you can't leave the house and miss it because it won't be on for another few months or not ever again.
Now we download the CD while we check our mail, our phones are with us wherever we go and our oil is getting changed at the same place we're buying our key, groceries and shirts. At some point grab a bite at a drive-thru and the DVR is set to record your TV show but if you miss it, it will be on again right after, three more times this weekend or On Demand. A whole day twenty years ago is now two hours of your morning.
And yet, with all this free time no one says "I'm going to go to the museum more."
Quite frankly I think that this new and speedy world is more likely the cause of the lack of art appreciation rather something that would encourage it. We don't have to work as hard. We don't have to think as hard. And since everything is easier to do then it makes creative problem solving a thing of the past. We don't have to plan or manage as much as we used to so the right side of our brains, which are in charge of abstract thought, are slowly but surely crawling away into a hollow log and waiting to die.
I have often expressed my frustration at the lack of artful open-mindedness in my community often to the point of sounding boring and pompous. But I can't help, and refuse to apologize for, wanting more than ordinary, average, typical or creatively dead. It's absolutely frustrating to me that when someone comes into the shop saying "I want a tattoo but I don't know what I want." and they search the walls for some kind of inspiration. It's happened too many times that when I face these people I ask them to tell me about themselves and the things in their life that they are passionate about. They just keep looking around and say nothing while shrugging their shoulders. It's ok to not know what you want. It's not a crime to have all the charisma of a bottle of ketchup. But if you won't help me to help you help me then I can't help you.
I almost feel guilty in my angst. I can't really be upset with these people and their lack of imagination any more than I should get angry at a group of monkeys for throwing their own poop at each other. Let's face it: some people just don't know any better. So I ask as a last resort, "Is there anything in your life that you have ever liked ever?". The answer to this question is usually a dismissive "Not really.". Really? All your life, as a child and into adulthood you just sat in a blank room and stared at nothing until it was time to eat? I was a Star Wars freak. I collected comic books. I practiced martial arts. I doodled skulls and Frankenstein in my notes during class and thought Pee Wee Herman was the absolute funniest thing ever. Poop-throwin' monkeys or not, I find it hard to believe that this many people in the world have nothing on their minds.
Maybe I'm just writing this blog due to all the tribal, barbed-wire armband tattoos I've been asked to do the past few weeks. Or the own name tats. Or the kids name tats. Or the hearts with wings. Or the countless other things that have nothing to do with art as much as it seems like Invasion of the Body Snatchers came true to life and stole everyones creativity. These tattoos still take talent to apply and can be pretty cool if I'm allowed a few certain freedoms. But 8 out of 10 times I am not. I'm a gourmet chef and the only thing people want me to make is toast.
Part of me wants to shut up and be grateful for the chance to be an artist. But much larger parts of me (I think it's my ass and love handles) want to be more artist. A better artist. A challenged artist. Is it wrong to want this? Is it unfair of me to want my community to want more from me? Am I being a snob for wanting to give more to them?
The world is unlivable without art. If we can't make some then let's try to appreciate some. If we can't appreciate it then let's appreciate the ones that do. And if you have no passion for anything ever and you want a tattoo from me then maybe you could just sit down, shut up and I'll tattoo whatever I want to tattoo on you since it won't seem to matter anyway.
Sigh. One tribal, barbed-wire armband coming right up, sir.
This was the meat of Steven Soderbergh's acceptance speech in 2001 for his best director Oscar win for the movie Traffic. I remember watching it, applauding it, repeating it and I have tried to, on at least some level, live it.
In this day and age where everything is easier, faster and more attainable than it used to be, you might think that art would be more plentiful and appreciated. One might shudder to think that at one time we actually had to make plans to go to the mall to buy a CD and a shirt, the grocery store for food and the hardware store to have a key made. Stop at a garage to get your oil changed. Then hurry home to cook dinner while we waited for a letter from a friend to arrive with the days mail, at the same time not going too far from the phone in case that important call you were expecting came in. And don't forget that your favorite show is on tonight so you can't leave the house and miss it because it won't be on for another few months or not ever again.
Now we download the CD while we check our mail, our phones are with us wherever we go and our oil is getting changed at the same place we're buying our key, groceries and shirts. At some point grab a bite at a drive-thru and the DVR is set to record your TV show but if you miss it, it will be on again right after, three more times this weekend or On Demand. A whole day twenty years ago is now two hours of your morning.
And yet, with all this free time no one says "I'm going to go to the museum more."
Quite frankly I think that this new and speedy world is more likely the cause of the lack of art appreciation rather something that would encourage it. We don't have to work as hard. We don't have to think as hard. And since everything is easier to do then it makes creative problem solving a thing of the past. We don't have to plan or manage as much as we used to so the right side of our brains, which are in charge of abstract thought, are slowly but surely crawling away into a hollow log and waiting to die.
I have often expressed my frustration at the lack of artful open-mindedness in my community often to the point of sounding boring and pompous. But I can't help, and refuse to apologize for, wanting more than ordinary, average, typical or creatively dead. It's absolutely frustrating to me that when someone comes into the shop saying "I want a tattoo but I don't know what I want." and they search the walls for some kind of inspiration. It's happened too many times that when I face these people I ask them to tell me about themselves and the things in their life that they are passionate about. They just keep looking around and say nothing while shrugging their shoulders. It's ok to not know what you want. It's not a crime to have all the charisma of a bottle of ketchup. But if you won't help me to help you help me then I can't help you.
I almost feel guilty in my angst. I can't really be upset with these people and their lack of imagination any more than I should get angry at a group of monkeys for throwing their own poop at each other. Let's face it: some people just don't know any better. So I ask as a last resort, "Is there anything in your life that you have ever liked ever?". The answer to this question is usually a dismissive "Not really.". Really? All your life, as a child and into adulthood you just sat in a blank room and stared at nothing until it was time to eat? I was a Star Wars freak. I collected comic books. I practiced martial arts. I doodled skulls and Frankenstein in my notes during class and thought Pee Wee Herman was the absolute funniest thing ever. Poop-throwin' monkeys or not, I find it hard to believe that this many people in the world have nothing on their minds.
Maybe I'm just writing this blog due to all the tribal, barbed-wire armband tattoos I've been asked to do the past few weeks. Or the own name tats. Or the kids name tats. Or the hearts with wings. Or the countless other things that have nothing to do with art as much as it seems like Invasion of the Body Snatchers came true to life and stole everyones creativity. These tattoos still take talent to apply and can be pretty cool if I'm allowed a few certain freedoms. But 8 out of 10 times I am not. I'm a gourmet chef and the only thing people want me to make is toast.
Part of me wants to shut up and be grateful for the chance to be an artist. But much larger parts of me (I think it's my ass and love handles) want to be more artist. A better artist. A challenged artist. Is it wrong to want this? Is it unfair of me to want my community to want more from me? Am I being a snob for wanting to give more to them?
The world is unlivable without art. If we can't make some then let's try to appreciate some. If we can't appreciate it then let's appreciate the ones that do. And if you have no passion for anything ever and you want a tattoo from me then maybe you could just sit down, shut up and I'll tattoo whatever I want to tattoo on you since it won't seem to matter anyway.
Sigh. One tribal, barbed-wire armband coming right up, sir.
Customer Service in the Tattoo World or The Tattoo Artists One Real Job Hazard
I think most of my colleagues will agree that the job of a tattoo artist is pretty great. The pay isn't bad considering the workload. We usually don't have to be up early so the hours are good. If your doing your job right the risks of injury are practically nil. And what else? Oh, yeah... you get to be an artist for a living! And not just any artist, but a tattoo artist. You have the blessing of a job that not just anyone can do and you get to do some pretty cool art and with this art you get to touch peoples lives. Everyone remembers their first tattoo experience. It's not always good but they remember it.
Yes, sir. Being a tattoo artist is pretty great. So what's the problem? Well, you might have guessed that this is a customer service industry, the key word here being "customer".
I thank my walking, upright God for every single cent He allows me to take home at the end of every day. I absolutely love my job and my life. It's very rare that I ever not want to go to work and at days end I feel pretty good about how my day was spent. But if there is one thing that might ruin that day, it would be that one person who felt like it was his or her personal obligation to do so.
Everyone who is in the position of working with the public sees them all the time. If you're a waitress then it's probably a normal part of your day to grin and bear the folks that are just never satisfied with their meal and demand to be compensated with something for free (I hate that! C'mon, really. How inconvenienced were you that they had to make you a new steak?). If you work in a movie theatre then it's your job to care about that customers feelings who were hurt by the excessive amount of salt on their popcorn or swearing in their movie. If you sell clothes or shoes you might bend over backwards to help someone try on everything in the store for hours only to watch them walk out the door with nothing but what they were wearing when they walked in. Coincidentally, I have had all of these jobs and have had to deal with all of these people. I feel your pain.
Let's face it. Any job that requires you address people with any variation of "Hi, how can I help you?" is a job that allows you to be set up for the proverbial kick in the nuts. The tattoo world is not different. There are way too many types and examples to cover just here, but for now this will be another list of my own personal major three. Let's start with...
THE MINOR. This one is pretty easy to figure out. You can't get a tattoo unless you're 18. The end. There are places where you can get a tattoo with parental consent and that's fine, as long as some guidelines are followed. And you might not think that this would be a problem when it comes to customer service. Just say no, they go away, problem solved. But an underage customer is still a future customer and I try to be reasonable and delicate when I talk to them. The real problem is having to deal with the parents. "I don't understand why you just can't tattoo my sons neck if he wants it." Um, did you just hear yourself? One day a young man came to my shop (who was actually in an hour earlier but "forgot" his I.D.) with mom in tow. Apparently they were both under the impression that mom could just sign a paper, drop him off and leave since she had things to do. I informed them that this was not the case. Mom has things to do so she's ready to leave. The kid flips out. "Dammit, mom! I've been trying to get a fucking tattoo all fucking day!" (Actual quote. If I talked to my mom like that I would not exist.) I said "All day? Why you poor thing, you must be exhausted. Would you like to make an appointment?" They left swearing at me. I waved with a smile. I could write ten blogs about what little respect today's youth have for anyone, let alone me and my business. But for the purpose of customer service, these hateful little cretins still get my best face. When they leave I stuff my face in a pillow and imagine going back in time and keeping the parents of the little shit from ever meeting. Um... I mean hi, how can I help you?
THE IMPATIENT. There are those that want a tattoo. And there are those that want a tattoo NOW! Look, tattoos take time. It's not just drawing with a pen. There's artwork to prepare, set up, clean up and anything in between that needs done. It's not broad strokes and scribbles. So it may be likely that you have to tell someone that the next available appointment is two weeks from now (or in some cases two months. If you have a tattoo show on The Learning Channel two years). It's amazing how pissed some people get over this. Recently a group of six people came into the shop just as I was starting my first tattoo of the day. At least three of them wanted tattoos to honor the memory of a loved one who had just recently passed. The size and detail of the tattoos varied from person to person. It was Monday. I told them that I would be able to fit them in next Wednesday. The reply to this was: "But his funeral is tomorrow at 2:00." In my head I said "He'll be just as dead next Wednesday." My mouth said "I'm sorry but I'm booked until next week." I gave them cards and told them if they couldn't find an opening somewhere else to give me a call. It would seem there could be a customer service happy ending here. There isn't. As I was tattooing my scheduled client this group went through the rest of the shop trash talking me with great attitude to the rest of the customers and discussing their confusion as to why I can't tattoo them. Even the dude I was working on commented on the noticeable angst with which these people reacted to me. They overheard me say to him "Tattoos take time. I respect that they're hurting but they have to wait." This took them to a frenzy of curse words and middle fingers in my direction. I know they were in pain so I'll forgive them. But there has to be an understanding here. If a good tattoo is worth sitting through then it should also be worth waiting for. These people didn't care about honoring a loved one, they wanted to show off at the funeral home. For this or any other reason that someone might not want to wait for ink is the kind of person that probably doesn't really appreciate tattoos as art but more for status. But they are customers too. It's just not often that they realize, or care, that the people that have been waiting on my calender for a month are just as important to my business as those that have been needing a tattoo for ten minutes.
THE HAGGLER. In addition to being an artist, the tattooist is many things. We are the new bartender, where we listen to the problems of strangers. We are psychologists, where we try to tap into a persons heart and mind so that we can help them find the perfect tattoo for their newest piece of self expression. We are nurses with a practiced bedside manner, so that we may encourage them when they're nervous or in distress and pain. The one thing that most people forget that we are not... whores. I've talked a bit about this before in my previous blog "The Price of a Tattoo". But it's a huge part of customer service in this industry. I will always do my best to work with a clients budget. Getting a client to work with me in return isn't always easy. Many times have I listened to a customer go on about how they want this and that and another thing in a tattoo. To hear them describe it you might think they were planning a full bodysuit. It's usually something they want contained in a rib cage of half sleeve. After a lot of talk and maybe a rough sketch they'll ask for the price. When I give it to them the dull thudding of jaws hitting the floor can be heard for blocks. "Oh, I only have about seventy dollars." I want to look them dead in the eye and offer "Get out." But I don't. I'm a customer service representative of Under the Gun Tattoos. I'll ask how I can help. Sometimes when I'm asked for a price I might say $150 and they'll shoot back "Oh. Can you do it for $80?" Um... no I can't. I don't go to McDonalds and ask the cashier to shave a few dollars off the price of my nuggets. I can't get the gas station to throw in a few free gallons since I've already bought ten. So what would make a potential tattooee think that I'm willing to give away my livelihood? I really don't know. But it's a phenomenon I can't seem to get used to no matter how often I face it. It's comical that a customer will remember how important their money is to them without considering that I use the same kind of money they do. And don't get me started on tipping.
Yes, this is a customer service industry and I try to service my customers because that's what we all are. Everyone loves to tell the story about how they were treated so terribly at that restaurant/movie theatre/Gap/brothel. I think most of us try not to give a person an excuse to tell such a story. And it might not happen often but it happens in the tattoo business, when you ask "How can I help you?" make sure you're wearing a cup because your going to get kicked in the nuts.
Yes, sir. Being a tattoo artist is pretty great. So what's the problem? Well, you might have guessed that this is a customer service industry, the key word here being "customer".
I thank my walking, upright God for every single cent He allows me to take home at the end of every day. I absolutely love my job and my life. It's very rare that I ever not want to go to work and at days end I feel pretty good about how my day was spent. But if there is one thing that might ruin that day, it would be that one person who felt like it was his or her personal obligation to do so.
Everyone who is in the position of working with the public sees them all the time. If you're a waitress then it's probably a normal part of your day to grin and bear the folks that are just never satisfied with their meal and demand to be compensated with something for free (I hate that! C'mon, really. How inconvenienced were you that they had to make you a new steak?). If you work in a movie theatre then it's your job to care about that customers feelings who were hurt by the excessive amount of salt on their popcorn or swearing in their movie. If you sell clothes or shoes you might bend over backwards to help someone try on everything in the store for hours only to watch them walk out the door with nothing but what they were wearing when they walked in. Coincidentally, I have had all of these jobs and have had to deal with all of these people. I feel your pain.
Let's face it. Any job that requires you address people with any variation of "Hi, how can I help you?" is a job that allows you to be set up for the proverbial kick in the nuts. The tattoo world is not different. There are way too many types and examples to cover just here, but for now this will be another list of my own personal major three. Let's start with...
THE MINOR. This one is pretty easy to figure out. You can't get a tattoo unless you're 18. The end. There are places where you can get a tattoo with parental consent and that's fine, as long as some guidelines are followed. And you might not think that this would be a problem when it comes to customer service. Just say no, they go away, problem solved. But an underage customer is still a future customer and I try to be reasonable and delicate when I talk to them. The real problem is having to deal with the parents. "I don't understand why you just can't tattoo my sons neck if he wants it." Um, did you just hear yourself? One day a young man came to my shop (who was actually in an hour earlier but "forgot" his I.D.) with mom in tow. Apparently they were both under the impression that mom could just sign a paper, drop him off and leave since she had things to do. I informed them that this was not the case. Mom has things to do so she's ready to leave. The kid flips out. "Dammit, mom! I've been trying to get a fucking tattoo all fucking day!" (Actual quote. If I talked to my mom like that I would not exist.) I said "All day? Why you poor thing, you must be exhausted. Would you like to make an appointment?" They left swearing at me. I waved with a smile. I could write ten blogs about what little respect today's youth have for anyone, let alone me and my business. But for the purpose of customer service, these hateful little cretins still get my best face. When they leave I stuff my face in a pillow and imagine going back in time and keeping the parents of the little shit from ever meeting. Um... I mean hi, how can I help you?
THE IMPATIENT. There are those that want a tattoo. And there are those that want a tattoo NOW! Look, tattoos take time. It's not just drawing with a pen. There's artwork to prepare, set up, clean up and anything in between that needs done. It's not broad strokes and scribbles. So it may be likely that you have to tell someone that the next available appointment is two weeks from now (or in some cases two months. If you have a tattoo show on The Learning Channel two years). It's amazing how pissed some people get over this. Recently a group of six people came into the shop just as I was starting my first tattoo of the day. At least three of them wanted tattoos to honor the memory of a loved one who had just recently passed. The size and detail of the tattoos varied from person to person. It was Monday. I told them that I would be able to fit them in next Wednesday. The reply to this was: "But his funeral is tomorrow at 2:00." In my head I said "He'll be just as dead next Wednesday." My mouth said "I'm sorry but I'm booked until next week." I gave them cards and told them if they couldn't find an opening somewhere else to give me a call. It would seem there could be a customer service happy ending here. There isn't. As I was tattooing my scheduled client this group went through the rest of the shop trash talking me with great attitude to the rest of the customers and discussing their confusion as to why I can't tattoo them. Even the dude I was working on commented on the noticeable angst with which these people reacted to me. They overheard me say to him "Tattoos take time. I respect that they're hurting but they have to wait." This took them to a frenzy of curse words and middle fingers in my direction. I know they were in pain so I'll forgive them. But there has to be an understanding here. If a good tattoo is worth sitting through then it should also be worth waiting for. These people didn't care about honoring a loved one, they wanted to show off at the funeral home. For this or any other reason that someone might not want to wait for ink is the kind of person that probably doesn't really appreciate tattoos as art but more for status. But they are customers too. It's just not often that they realize, or care, that the people that have been waiting on my calender for a month are just as important to my business as those that have been needing a tattoo for ten minutes.
THE HAGGLER. In addition to being an artist, the tattooist is many things. We are the new bartender, where we listen to the problems of strangers. We are psychologists, where we try to tap into a persons heart and mind so that we can help them find the perfect tattoo for their newest piece of self expression. We are nurses with a practiced bedside manner, so that we may encourage them when they're nervous or in distress and pain. The one thing that most people forget that we are not... whores. I've talked a bit about this before in my previous blog "The Price of a Tattoo". But it's a huge part of customer service in this industry. I will always do my best to work with a clients budget. Getting a client to work with me in return isn't always easy. Many times have I listened to a customer go on about how they want this and that and another thing in a tattoo. To hear them describe it you might think they were planning a full bodysuit. It's usually something they want contained in a rib cage of half sleeve. After a lot of talk and maybe a rough sketch they'll ask for the price. When I give it to them the dull thudding of jaws hitting the floor can be heard for blocks. "Oh, I only have about seventy dollars." I want to look them dead in the eye and offer "Get out." But I don't. I'm a customer service representative of Under the Gun Tattoos. I'll ask how I can help. Sometimes when I'm asked for a price I might say $150 and they'll shoot back "Oh. Can you do it for $80?" Um... no I can't. I don't go to McDonalds and ask the cashier to shave a few dollars off the price of my nuggets. I can't get the gas station to throw in a few free gallons since I've already bought ten. So what would make a potential tattooee think that I'm willing to give away my livelihood? I really don't know. But it's a phenomenon I can't seem to get used to no matter how often I face it. It's comical that a customer will remember how important their money is to them without considering that I use the same kind of money they do. And don't get me started on tipping.
Yes, this is a customer service industry and I try to service my customers because that's what we all are. Everyone loves to tell the story about how they were treated so terribly at that restaurant/movie theatre/Gap/brothel. I think most of us try not to give a person an excuse to tell such a story. And it might not happen often but it happens in the tattoo business, when you ask "How can I help you?" make sure you're wearing a cup because your going to get kicked in the nuts.
The Price of a Tattoo
The following line is, verbatim and as typed, an actual message I received from someone on my friend list who lives locally. Ready? Here it is:
"hey do u do good tats ndhow much would u charge"
What in the name of Albert Friggin' Einstein is that? I swear to GAWD this world is getting dumber by the second.
Let's accept the possibility that this person isn't familiar with the world of tattoos. They might not understand that tattoos are a subjective and visual medium and that they have no flat price. So maybe this person thinks that they can get a price by asking for it in an email. I get phone calls daily asking "How much are your letters?" or "Could you give me an estimate on a medium sized tattoo with about 5 colors?" It happens. It doesn't make sense to me but it happens.
In addition to that part of the question this person didn't even give reference to what, in a tattoo, I would be charging them for. A butterfly on their wrist? A portrait of a child? The words 'High Functioning Retard" on their forehead? All three of these tattoos would have different prices (although, the latter I'm willing to offer a special deal on).
But first she asks if I do good tats. Well... this is myspace. If you know what your doing there are plenty of pictures to check out so they can judge for themselves. Even if I didn't have any pictures wouldn't it make sense to visit the shop? When this person needs a new car do they call a car dealer and ask "Do you have nice cars and how much are they?" Most likely not. They get off their butt and go shopping. If they get sick do they send the hospital an email and ask "Are your doctors good and how much do they charge?" I bet they don't. Calling around for the best deal on tattoos is lazy, irresponsible, dumb and, in some cases, dangerous.
The price of a tattoo is what it's worth. One young lady who visited my shop asked for a price. It was a young white girl who was trying very hard to impress anyone within earshot by trying to sound as gangsta as all the rap songs she listened to that day. She asked, or rather commanded to know...
"How much you Tinkerbells be?" I answered...
"Well, that depends."
"On what?"
"On the size of the design, the amount of detail, colors, body placement."
"Say, like, I wan' it on my back an' shit."
"I won't tattoo your shit."
>confused<
"Never mind. What kind of size woul..."
"I wan' it, like, dis big." >Holds up hands to form the size of a large cantaloupe<
"Ok, well. That's a pretty big tattoo."
"Yeah, like, I wan' it to be, like, big, know what ahm sayin'?"
"Um... I think so."
"So, how much?"
"Depending on it's overall detail, you're probably talking about a range of six hundred to eight hundred dollars."
"WHAT!?! Shiiiit. Fuck dat! I'll jus' get my tattoos where I normally get 'em. Off da street!" >Insert head rocking motion throughout<
"Good luck with the hepatitis that comes with it."
>Shop door slams shut<
Sigh. And I never saw her again. Did she get the Tinkerbell tattoo of her dreams on the street? I'll probably never know. My point is: if a tattoo that you want is important enough to you, then the price is A condition of your choice. Not THE condition. In this day and age, with this economy and these gas prices I certainly understand having a budget. And I may have been able to work with that young lady if she was a little more respectful and wanted to share her budget with me. But to only see dollar signs on something as personal and permanent as a tattoo, especially when there are so many other circumstances to consider asking a tattoo shop about, such as their portfolio, sterilization, experience, etc. Then maybe you don't need a tattoo in the first place.
Just like the person that sent me the one line message that started this rant. I'm sure I'm not the first or last local tattoo artist that they will subject to these two stupid questions, thrown together into one non-capitalized, non-punctuated sentence using text speak (You're sitting in front of an effing keyboard! How hard is it to type the actual word "you" and put an 'a' in front of "and"? Jesus!)
So, the next time you need to know the price of your tattoo, before you pick up the phone to price hunt down the list in the yellow pages, think about going to visit a shop or two. Go to as many as you think you have to. When you find the one where the artist treats you right, where the shop is safe and sterile, their work is good and he or she is able to draw up a tattoo that is everything you ever hoped it could be, you just might end up spending a little more than you planned. And it will be worth every penny.
"hey do u do good tats ndhow much would u charge"
What in the name of Albert Friggin' Einstein is that? I swear to GAWD this world is getting dumber by the second.
Let's accept the possibility that this person isn't familiar with the world of tattoos. They might not understand that tattoos are a subjective and visual medium and that they have no flat price. So maybe this person thinks that they can get a price by asking for it in an email. I get phone calls daily asking "How much are your letters?" or "Could you give me an estimate on a medium sized tattoo with about 5 colors?" It happens. It doesn't make sense to me but it happens.
In addition to that part of the question this person didn't even give reference to what, in a tattoo, I would be charging them for. A butterfly on their wrist? A portrait of a child? The words 'High Functioning Retard" on their forehead? All three of these tattoos would have different prices (although, the latter I'm willing to offer a special deal on).
But first she asks if I do good tats. Well... this is myspace. If you know what your doing there are plenty of pictures to check out so they can judge for themselves. Even if I didn't have any pictures wouldn't it make sense to visit the shop? When this person needs a new car do they call a car dealer and ask "Do you have nice cars and how much are they?" Most likely not. They get off their butt and go shopping. If they get sick do they send the hospital an email and ask "Are your doctors good and how much do they charge?" I bet they don't. Calling around for the best deal on tattoos is lazy, irresponsible, dumb and, in some cases, dangerous.
The price of a tattoo is what it's worth. One young lady who visited my shop asked for a price. It was a young white girl who was trying very hard to impress anyone within earshot by trying to sound as gangsta as all the rap songs she listened to that day. She asked, or rather commanded to know...
"How much you Tinkerbells be?" I answered...
"Well, that depends."
"On what?"
"On the size of the design, the amount of detail, colors, body placement."
"Say, like, I wan' it on my back an' shit."
"I won't tattoo your shit."
>confused<
"Never mind. What kind of size woul..."
"I wan' it, like, dis big." >Holds up hands to form the size of a large cantaloupe<
"Ok, well. That's a pretty big tattoo."
"Yeah, like, I wan' it to be, like, big, know what ahm sayin'?"
"Um... I think so."
"So, how much?"
"Depending on it's overall detail, you're probably talking about a range of six hundred to eight hundred dollars."
"WHAT!?! Shiiiit. Fuck dat! I'll jus' get my tattoos where I normally get 'em. Off da street!" >Insert head rocking motion throughout<
"Good luck with the hepatitis that comes with it."
>Shop door slams shut<
Sigh. And I never saw her again. Did she get the Tinkerbell tattoo of her dreams on the street? I'll probably never know. My point is: if a tattoo that you want is important enough to you, then the price is A condition of your choice. Not THE condition. In this day and age, with this economy and these gas prices I certainly understand having a budget. And I may have been able to work with that young lady if she was a little more respectful and wanted to share her budget with me. But to only see dollar signs on something as personal and permanent as a tattoo, especially when there are so many other circumstances to consider asking a tattoo shop about, such as their portfolio, sterilization, experience, etc. Then maybe you don't need a tattoo in the first place.
Just like the person that sent me the one line message that started this rant. I'm sure I'm not the first or last local tattoo artist that they will subject to these two stupid questions, thrown together into one non-capitalized, non-punctuated sentence using text speak (You're sitting in front of an effing keyboard! How hard is it to type the actual word "you" and put an 'a' in front of "and"? Jesus!)
So, the next time you need to know the price of your tattoo, before you pick up the phone to price hunt down the list in the yellow pages, think about going to visit a shop or two. Go to as many as you think you have to. When you find the one where the artist treats you right, where the shop is safe and sterile, their work is good and he or she is able to draw up a tattoo that is everything you ever hoped it could be, you just might end up spending a little more than you planned. And it will be worth every penny.
"I Don't Know What I Want."
"I want a tattoo but I don't know what I want."
I hear this phrase all the time. From friends. From family. From strangers. From customers. To this dilemma I usually ask "If you don't know then who does?".
Sometimes they respond with a soft chuckle and shrugged shoulders, most often it's a clumsy, stammering reason as to why they don't know or they start telling me about their first thoughts which usually end up being something like a dolphin or a heart with wings. Or maybe even a winged dolphin flying through a heart. Something not exactly original that they have probably seen before and liked and now they just know they want a tattoo and since it was good enough for whoever had it before, then it's good enough for them.
Now, I certainly understand that, sometimes, for the frequent tattoo collector, there are moments where you just get a hankering for some ink. The feeling you have after you get a good tattoo is one you want again and again. The reason why tattoos are addictive is the need for that feeling. And if you're thinking " It's the pain", think again. It's because vanity is the devil's favorite sin. It's the sense of accomplishment you feel about having to sit through such an ordeal so that you can have a pretty picture for you and the world to notice. I don't care how private or humble a person you are. For the first week, at least, if you're not showing your new tattoo to the world you're taking special notice of it every time you look in your own mirror.
But for those who have yet to get that feeling because they don't know what they want, there may be a way to find out.
Organized religions tell us that man (or woman. Feminists back off!) inevitably asks him/herself three questions: WHO AM I? WHERE DID I COME FROM? WHERE AM I GOING? These three questions that you ask yourself to find internal peace can also be applied to determine what you might like for your external piece. (Get it? Get it? Ah-ha! Yeah!) Let's start with:
WHO AM I? Well? This could be anything that you feel defines you. The love of your life, be it human or animal. Your chosen profession that you're damn good at. A life changing experience that made you who you are today, such as becoming a parent or a spiritual awakening. A patriot to your country. Even whatever might represent the personality you are famous for. You might not spend day and night thinking about who you are, but if you did you would probably find that you are a lot of things. And many of them can be translated into a kick ass tattoo!
WHERE DID I COME FROM? Earth? Your friends might find that debatable, but ok. And you may be American but you also may have family roots you are proud of. Irish, Italian, Polish. Even German if you can bring yourself to admit it. It could also be your home state or the street where you grew up. If you have a history, weather it be experienced first hand or through the blood line it can probably be illustrated in a kick ass tattoo!
WHERE AM I GOING? Gonna go to Heaven? Not so fast, you! This question does not have to be limited to the afterlife or any physical, geographic location. You may have many goals that you have set for yourself and sometimes your chosen body art can be a reminder of those things you want to achieve. There are lots images in this world that can symbolize a stronger moral or mental destination that can be made into a - you guessed it - a really nice tattoo.
If you want a tattoo but don't know what you want in a tattoo then spend some time thinking about what you want out of life, or what you've already gotten out of it. I'm sure there's something in there that can be turned into a tattoo you can be proud of.
Of course, a winged dolphin could be really cool, too.
I hear this phrase all the time. From friends. From family. From strangers. From customers. To this dilemma I usually ask "If you don't know then who does?".
Sometimes they respond with a soft chuckle and shrugged shoulders, most often it's a clumsy, stammering reason as to why they don't know or they start telling me about their first thoughts which usually end up being something like a dolphin or a heart with wings. Or maybe even a winged dolphin flying through a heart. Something not exactly original that they have probably seen before and liked and now they just know they want a tattoo and since it was good enough for whoever had it before, then it's good enough for them.
Now, I certainly understand that, sometimes, for the frequent tattoo collector, there are moments where you just get a hankering for some ink. The feeling you have after you get a good tattoo is one you want again and again. The reason why tattoos are addictive is the need for that feeling. And if you're thinking " It's the pain", think again. It's because vanity is the devil's favorite sin. It's the sense of accomplishment you feel about having to sit through such an ordeal so that you can have a pretty picture for you and the world to notice. I don't care how private or humble a person you are. For the first week, at least, if you're not showing your new tattoo to the world you're taking special notice of it every time you look in your own mirror.
But for those who have yet to get that feeling because they don't know what they want, there may be a way to find out.
Organized religions tell us that man (or woman. Feminists back off!) inevitably asks him/herself three questions: WHO AM I? WHERE DID I COME FROM? WHERE AM I GOING? These three questions that you ask yourself to find internal peace can also be applied to determine what you might like for your external piece. (Get it? Get it? Ah-ha! Yeah!) Let's start with:
WHO AM I? Well? This could be anything that you feel defines you. The love of your life, be it human or animal. Your chosen profession that you're damn good at. A life changing experience that made you who you are today, such as becoming a parent or a spiritual awakening. A patriot to your country. Even whatever might represent the personality you are famous for. You might not spend day and night thinking about who you are, but if you did you would probably find that you are a lot of things. And many of them can be translated into a kick ass tattoo!
WHERE DID I COME FROM? Earth? Your friends might find that debatable, but ok. And you may be American but you also may have family roots you are proud of. Irish, Italian, Polish. Even German if you can bring yourself to admit it. It could also be your home state or the street where you grew up. If you have a history, weather it be experienced first hand or through the blood line it can probably be illustrated in a kick ass tattoo!
WHERE AM I GOING? Gonna go to Heaven? Not so fast, you! This question does not have to be limited to the afterlife or any physical, geographic location. You may have many goals that you have set for yourself and sometimes your chosen body art can be a reminder of those things you want to achieve. There are lots images in this world that can symbolize a stronger moral or mental destination that can be made into a - you guessed it - a really nice tattoo.
If you want a tattoo but don't know what you want in a tattoo then spend some time thinking about what you want out of life, or what you've already gotten out of it. I'm sure there's something in there that can be turned into a tattoo you can be proud of.
Of course, a winged dolphin could be really cool, too.
Think About Your Art
Most of us put a lot of thought into what our tattoo is going to be. After all, it's going to be there forever. The commitment of a tattoo makes some people more anxious than marriage. A wife and kids are one thing, but a tattoo? That's permanent!
Some tattoos don't require a lot of thought but are equally important, such as memorial tattoos or those that display patriotism. Your Grandpa and the American Flag are certainly two things that will always be important to you. And no matter how many years pass, that Van Halen tat your buddy did in his garage might be a regret but Old Glory is still what we pledge allegiance to.
And I'm certainly not here to argue that all tattoos must have meaning. They don't. Sometimes they can be just plain pretty, cool or kick ass.
But there are those tattoos that, in my opinion, are thoughtless. Useless. Unfathomably pointless. And at the risk of sounding closed minded and snobby: stupid. I am certainly not saying that these tattoos don't require talent to apply and, in some cases, might actually be very important to the collector. But by majority these tattoos are fad, not fashion. Like Taz. I have been in more than one tattoo shop that has a sign on display as soon as you walk in, reading: NO TAZ! Apparently they had done one too many Tazmanian Devils.
Here are my big 3.
TRIBAL. As many people that have tribal there are just as many people who want tribal. In the mid 90's tattoo shops were getting richer by the minute. Tribal had been around long before that of course. But a wave of surfers and skaters hit the beaches of So Cal sporting these black, squiggly, pointy lines on their arms and the next thing you know half of the people you saw on MTV, the NBA and NFL had black squiggly lines too. I still get younger guys coming into the shop asking for a piece of tribal "like so and so has". Tribal is played. It's for kids who want to show off a tattoo, not acquire a piece of art. Stop with the tribal. It's done for.
OLD ENGLISH. STOP! Enough with the Old English, already. I know it's good enough for your favorite rap star and the cover of that one Sublime CD, but come on. There are so many beautiful fonts out there. I must get requests for Old English font a dozen times a month, only half of those am I able to convince that something more original would be more appropriate. Is Old English really the font that best suits your infant daughter or dead grandmother? And speaking of loved ones, you don't have to get their name to show their worth. If you passed grandmother made the best apple pie in the world then I can put together a totally rad apple pie tattoo. It's time to put away the names and played fonts and start thinking art. Tattooing is a form of visual communication. It doesn't have to be a fact sheet. And speaking of words...
YOUR OWN NAME. I am so sick of this request. Unless you plan on being far from home with no identification and the definite possibility of having a stroke, getting amnesia or going into a coma, why is this tattoo necessary? There are so many other ways to display pride in family and self. The flag of your heritage, a family crest or even the names translation or meaning. Perhaps a picture of the house you grew up in would be more sentimental. Do you play guitar? Put your favorite axe in a tat. Do you love animals? There's a lot of wildlife in the world that could make some fine ink. But c'mon. As long as you have a drivers license or library card, do you really need "Smith" on your back or forearm?
I'm sure you can think of many more examples yourself. And the perfect marriage might be harder to find than the perfect tattoo. But when getting a tattoo, asking yourself the "Is this Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now?" question would probably be a good place to start.
Some tattoos don't require a lot of thought but are equally important, such as memorial tattoos or those that display patriotism. Your Grandpa and the American Flag are certainly two things that will always be important to you. And no matter how many years pass, that Van Halen tat your buddy did in his garage might be a regret but Old Glory is still what we pledge allegiance to.
And I'm certainly not here to argue that all tattoos must have meaning. They don't. Sometimes they can be just plain pretty, cool or kick ass.
But there are those tattoos that, in my opinion, are thoughtless. Useless. Unfathomably pointless. And at the risk of sounding closed minded and snobby: stupid. I am certainly not saying that these tattoos don't require talent to apply and, in some cases, might actually be very important to the collector. But by majority these tattoos are fad, not fashion. Like Taz. I have been in more than one tattoo shop that has a sign on display as soon as you walk in, reading: NO TAZ! Apparently they had done one too many Tazmanian Devils.
Here are my big 3.
TRIBAL. As many people that have tribal there are just as many people who want tribal. In the mid 90's tattoo shops were getting richer by the minute. Tribal had been around long before that of course. But a wave of surfers and skaters hit the beaches of So Cal sporting these black, squiggly, pointy lines on their arms and the next thing you know half of the people you saw on MTV, the NBA and NFL had black squiggly lines too. I still get younger guys coming into the shop asking for a piece of tribal "like so and so has". Tribal is played. It's for kids who want to show off a tattoo, not acquire a piece of art. Stop with the tribal. It's done for.
OLD ENGLISH. STOP! Enough with the Old English, already. I know it's good enough for your favorite rap star and the cover of that one Sublime CD, but come on. There are so many beautiful fonts out there. I must get requests for Old English font a dozen times a month, only half of those am I able to convince that something more original would be more appropriate. Is Old English really the font that best suits your infant daughter or dead grandmother? And speaking of loved ones, you don't have to get their name to show their worth. If you passed grandmother made the best apple pie in the world then I can put together a totally rad apple pie tattoo. It's time to put away the names and played fonts and start thinking art. Tattooing is a form of visual communication. It doesn't have to be a fact sheet. And speaking of words...
YOUR OWN NAME. I am so sick of this request. Unless you plan on being far from home with no identification and the definite possibility of having a stroke, getting amnesia or going into a coma, why is this tattoo necessary? There are so many other ways to display pride in family and self. The flag of your heritage, a family crest or even the names translation or meaning. Perhaps a picture of the house you grew up in would be more sentimental. Do you play guitar? Put your favorite axe in a tat. Do you love animals? There's a lot of wildlife in the world that could make some fine ink. But c'mon. As long as you have a drivers license or library card, do you really need "Smith" on your back or forearm?
I'm sure you can think of many more examples yourself. And the perfect marriage might be harder to find than the perfect tattoo. But when getting a tattoo, asking yourself the "Is this Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now?" question would probably be a good place to start.
Tattoo Descrimination
So, I was looking at DVD's at the now closed Video Gallery in New Brighton. A woman of some years in a wheelchair is talking loud and proud about how girls are easier to raise than boys. Without any hesitation she decides to use me as an example and says: "Don't have boys or they'll end up like this one and start drawing pictures on themselves." I ignored her and went on looking for my movie.
Then, as luck would have it, I end up behind her in line at the checkout. She took this opportunity to exclaim "Let's hurry up and check out. We don't know what this guy behind us is capable of!"
Wow. Now, if she said this with a wink and a smile I would have smiled back. But she didn't. She meant every word.
I'm usually a quick-to-reply kind of person but I was pretty stumped. And even though I felt like strapping her chair to the front of my Chevy Blazer and taking her for a ride down Junction Stretch until she consented to getting a tattoo herself, it doesn't, of course, mean I'm capable of it.
Whatever she actually thought I was capable of - robbing the place, starting a fire, renting Battlefield Earth or kicking her out of her damn chair and having daughter squat on her face to pee - she might have been surprised to know that I'm just a regular guy, with a loving family that I am completely devoted to and, yes, I am adorned with permanent pictures and I adorn others for a living.
We may live in a rather old fashioned place like Beaver County, which I actually think is one of the nicer things about this place, but here's to hoping that intolerance like this continues to be a minor occurance and not a general attitude.
And for what it's worth: my Mom thanks God every day that she raised boys instead of girls.
Then, as luck would have it, I end up behind her in line at the checkout. She took this opportunity to exclaim "Let's hurry up and check out. We don't know what this guy behind us is capable of!"
Wow. Now, if she said this with a wink and a smile I would have smiled back. But she didn't. She meant every word.
I'm usually a quick-to-reply kind of person but I was pretty stumped. And even though I felt like strapping her chair to the front of my Chevy Blazer and taking her for a ride down Junction Stretch until she consented to getting a tattoo herself, it doesn't, of course, mean I'm capable of it.
Whatever she actually thought I was capable of - robbing the place, starting a fire, renting Battlefield Earth or kicking her out of her damn chair and having daughter squat on her face to pee - she might have been surprised to know that I'm just a regular guy, with a loving family that I am completely devoted to and, yes, I am adorned with permanent pictures and I adorn others for a living.
We may live in a rather old fashioned place like Beaver County, which I actually think is one of the nicer things about this place, but here's to hoping that intolerance like this continues to be a minor occurance and not a general attitude.
And for what it's worth: my Mom thanks God every day that she raised boys instead of girls.
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