The Price of a Tattoo

The following line is, verbatim and as typed, an actual message I received from someone on my friend list who lives locally. Ready? Here it is:

"hey do u do good tats ndhow much would u charge"

What in the name of Albert Friggin' Einstein is that? I swear to GAWD this world is getting dumber by the second.

Let's accept the possibility that this person isn't familiar with the world of tattoos. They might not understand that tattoos are a subjective and visual medium and that they have no flat price. So maybe this person thinks that they can get a price by asking for it in an email. I get phone calls daily asking "How much are your letters?" or "Could you give me an estimate on a medium sized tattoo with about 5 colors?" It happens. It doesn't make sense to me but it happens.

In addition to that part of the question this person didn't even give reference to what, in a tattoo, I would be charging them for. A butterfly on their wrist? A portrait of a child? The words 'High Functioning Retard" on their forehead? All three of these tattoos would have different prices (although, the latter I'm willing to offer a special deal on).

But first she asks if I do good tats. Well... this is myspace. If you know what your doing there are plenty of pictures to check out so they can judge for themselves. Even if I didn't have any pictures wouldn't it make sense to visit the shop? When this person needs a new car do they call a car dealer and ask "Do you have nice cars and how much are they?" Most likely not. They get off their butt and go shopping. If they get sick do they send the hospital an email and ask "Are your doctors good and how much do they charge?" I bet they don't. Calling around for the best deal on tattoos is lazy, irresponsible, dumb and, in some cases, dangerous.

The price of a tattoo is what it's worth. One young lady who visited my shop asked for a price. It was a young white girl who was trying very hard to impress anyone within earshot by trying to sound as gangsta as all the rap songs she listened to that day. She asked, or rather commanded to know...

"How much you Tinkerbells be?" I answered...

"Well, that depends."

"On what?"

"On the size of the design, the amount of detail, colors, body placement."

"Say, like, I wan' it on my back an' shit."

"I won't tattoo your shit."

>confused<

"Never mind. What kind of size woul..."

"I wan' it, like, dis big." >Holds up hands to form the size of a large cantaloupe<

"Ok, well. That's a pretty big tattoo."

"Yeah, like, I wan' it to be, like, big, know what ahm sayin'?"

"Um... I think so."

"So, how much?"

"Depending on it's overall detail, you're probably talking about a range of six hundred to eight hundred dollars."

"WHAT!?! Shiiiit. Fuck dat! I'll jus' get my tattoos where I normally get 'em. Off da street!" >Insert head rocking motion throughout<

"Good luck with the hepatitis that comes with it."

>Shop door slams shut<

Sigh. And I never saw her again. Did she get the Tinkerbell tattoo of her dreams on the street? I'll probably never know. My point is: if a tattoo that you want is important enough to you, then the price is A condition of your choice. Not THE condition. In this day and age, with this economy and these gas prices I certainly understand having a budget. And I may have been able to work with that young lady if she was a little more respectful and wanted to share her budget with me. But to only see dollar signs on something as personal and permanent as a tattoo, especially when there are so many other circumstances to consider asking a tattoo shop about, such as their portfolio, sterilization, experience, etc. Then maybe you don't need a tattoo in the first place.

Just like the person that sent me the one line message that started this rant. I'm sure I'm not the first or last local tattoo artist that they will subject to these two stupid questions, thrown together into one non-capitalized, non-punctuated sentence using text speak (You're sitting in front of an effing keyboard! How hard is it to type the actual word "you" and put an 'a' in front of "and"? Jesus!)

So, the next time you need to know the price of your tattoo, before you pick up the phone to price hunt down the list in the yellow pages, think about going to visit a shop or two. Go to as many as you think you have to. When you find the one where the artist treats you right, where the shop is safe and sterile, their work is good and he or she is able to draw up a tattoo that is everything you ever hoped it could be, you just might end up spending a little more than you planned. And it will be worth every penny.